I had a really meaningful chat with my mentor yesterday about asking for help during my upcoming surgery and recovery. It made me realize something important…
I’m one of those super independent types who hate asking for help. I’d rather tough it out and struggle than admit I need support. This comes from how I grew up. My mom, a single mom, worked long hours to make sure I and my step-sister had everything we needed. I had to do a lot for myself as a kid and figure out how to get by.
Matt (my mentor) and I talked about how letting people help us out will make them feel good about themselves. Even a small task can make a big difference when someone feels helpless.
Matt shared how after his own recent surgery, he let a friend move some clothes in bins from an upstairs bedroom to the garage for him. It was a simple task, but it meant a lot to his friend. Matt wanted to help, but he realized that letting his friend do it would make a difference in both of their lives.
Relying on others helps us realize that we’re important to others too. I’ve gotten so many offers of help from people I never thought I’d get it from. It’s made me realize that I’ve had a bigger impact on others than I thought. It really makes me emotional every time I experience it.
There’s a lot of selfish stuff going on these days, and it’s only going to get worse before it gets better. But in the end, we’re all in this together. We don’t need to feel ashamed when we ask for help. And we need to be ready to help those who need it when we can.
So the next time someone asks what they can do for me, I’m going to think of something for them to do, no matter how small. I’m blessed to have the support system I have — and never realized was there.
I am down to just three flagged action item emails in my inbox at the day job. I should be able to knock them all out this afternoon. I’ve also lined up transition meetings with the relevant teams for today. This should make the next two weeks a light load.
I’m living dangerously today and giving iPadOS 26 developer beta a try on my iPad since I barely use it. 🤞🏻
I’m waiting to tell my team members what’s about to happen until I have firm dates from the surgeon tomorrow. I’m sure they’re totally baffled by the fact I’m suddenly turning everything over to them the last few days. I should have been doing this a year or more ago… 🤣
Something I’m struggling with… After being the problem solver and fixer of things for my family, I now have to take a back seat while others handle what I once did in order to protect my health. It’s incredible how much of a man’s self-worth and esteem is tied up in what he’s able to do…and not do.
I was once rabid for Apple Keynotes of any kind. Not anymore. Eventually, features will be what they will be, love them or hate them. Workflows will adjust one way or another, and we’ll move on. Apple no longer innovates enough to excite me. I do still prefer the platform over alternatives though.
As I’ve already shared, I’m facing the very gnarly reality of open-heart surgery within the next few weeks – maybe sooner.
Here’s how I got here…
Towards the end of the pandemic, my Apple Watch notified me that my average resting heart rate had significantly dropped over the course of a few months, from the low seventies down to the mid-forties.
This surprised me.
I went to my GP about it, but he didn’t seem to think it was serious enough to investigate, so nothing was done. I noticed I was more tired than usual, but I’ve been seeing him for 25 years, so I trusted his judgement.
I may need to reconsider my primary care physician, but that’s for another time.
About a year and a half ago came “the event” as I’ve come to call it. I woke up to uncontrolled A-fib at 4am on a Thursday morning. It was serious enough to make me want to go to the hospital, which is unheard of. Thankfully, my Apple Watch let me know about this one and is the reason I went to the hospital.
You can read about that one on its own.
I endured the usual poking and prodding after: A stress test, EKGs, blood tests, and whatnot. Nothing bad was found. I will say that I’m lucky to have been referred to a really good cardiologist as part of it though.
Over the course of the last year and a half, I cleaned up my lifestyle, got on the right meds, and managed to shed nearly 60 pounds, putting me back at the weight I was when I met my wife 32 years ago. I felt better than ever and was happy to be fit again.
Then about a month ago came the night I woke up to chest pain. I thought it was a cramp from sleeping wrong. Then came the same pain when I exerted myself. This told me something wasn’t right. Before I could get in with my cardiologist, I had more A-fib events which I was able to capture on my watch.
I took the first appointment I could to see one of the other doctors in my cardiology group since my regular doctor was booked. She recommended a CTA, or computed tomography angiography. The results of the scan were concerning enough to warrant a full-on invasive angiogram a couple weeks later.
I had that procedure late last week. My wife and I hoped a couple of stents could be placed and I’d be right as rain again.
That wasn’t meant to be.
Instead, my cardiologist found I’m on the verge of a widow-maker heart attack with multiple blockages of 80% or more. Stents couldn’t fix this one.
Damn. That is some really serious shit right there…
That catches us up to today.
I have an appointment with a thoracic surgeon on Wednesday. I already know what’s going to come of it – open heart bypass surgery. The only thing I don’t know is how quickly it’s going to happen. It could be a couple of weeks, or it could be a couple of days.
I’ve got to get a lot of things in order quickly.
I’ve never faced anything remotely like this in my life. I’m kind of scared by it, and I’m still trying to grasp what’s about to happen. It’s going to be intense and life changing. But, I know I can pull through it, and I know it’s for God’s purpose.
If you’ve read this, I appreciate you taking the time. I’m usually pretty private about things like this, but I needed to get it written and published so the story can be continued later.
I also appreciate the great encouragement I’ve already received. Thanks to all of you (so many already) who have shared something. It means more than I can say.
I’m happy to share that a new mnml update is on the way. This release (v2.5.7) adds the following new features…
The ability to toggle a “Subscribe via RSS” link in the theme footer for those on Micro.one who don’t have the customizable footer option that Micro.blog does.
The ability to toggle a “read time” for posts with a title. This applies to any post with a title for the time being.
Given the recent turn of events, I’ve decided to accelerate killing off the single-user Mastodon instance I’ve been running apart from Micro.blog and federate from here. I feel good about it. It’s one less thing to worry about right now.
